Fox News Host in Hot Water for Brutal Ivanka Joke

Well! Have yourself a week Fox News! I mean is there really anything else here to say? It’s unbelievable that after all the headlines that this place has made recently, here comes along this guy throwing this one down on prime-time. Obviously there was some anger directed at this display, so lets see what Watters said in an effort to clear this up.

What?! Really?! Really Guy?! I honestly can’t believe what I just read in that tweet. Is this the worst lie of all time? Has to be right? Like there’s no way that he took time to brew this one up. You think people like me are really that stupid? Like we don’t understand what you really meant? I’m still stunned at this lie. It’s a lie so bad that I just keep sitting and staring at it. I’m more stunned Donald didn’t see this. The President kinda keeps his finger on the pulse when it comes to cable news. I’m kinda pissed he didn’t see this to be honest. I think everyone on the planet would welcome a tweet storm directed at this “pin-head.”

Well we just know if he takes a sudden vacation, it’s probably done for this guy…oh look

 

Chris Coghlan Goes Full Superman

What the hell was that?! That was the most dangerous, irresponsible, crazy, insane, play for home I’ve ever seen in baseball. But I’m sitting at my computer screaming MORE! MORE! MORE!

I know baseball purists were mad as hell when Manfred made blocking the plate illegal. Some described it as typical cupcake millennials being soft. But if were getting more of these superman jumps over them, I am so for this. Who cares about making innings shorter, or the pace of the game faster. If you pull a stunt like this off it should count as two runs. I’m even taking it further, I want like a one of those long jump measuring spots that they have in the Olympics. With the further you launch yourself over the catcher for a run the more the run counts. You get players doing that…and I think it’s game over for football come October time.

Bro Shows Up Court-side with “Send Nudes”

SBNation

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So last night during the Raps huge Dunk-a-thon win over the Bucks. There was some dude court-side wearing quite the shirt. Now as a man who knows class, sophistication, and business, this isn’t your usual court-side attire. The rare times that I leech on with someone who has the floor seats. I’m bringing the heat. That means my hair is on point, my clothes are crisp, and my shoes are Italian. People look at me like I’m showtime Pat Riley, or that I’m Gosling’s twin who couldn’t make it in LA. Sitting court-side to me is the closet that I’ve been to walking down a runway. But now send nudes guy has ruined that. I can’t look at those seats the same after such a loser move that this guy pulled. I’m not even thinking about how big of a win last night was. I’ve been walking around all day going “how ugly is send nudes guy? he has got to be ugly rocking that…and facing the other way…right?” I think after today I went from a court-side guy to a boxlife guy after seeing MLSE let this happen.

A Bit of a Disagreement Happened at Tim Horton’s

Okay so there are two things in this video that struck me. The first is the obvious one. The title of this video is “Toronto Tim Horton’s fight over ten cents.” If you’re in a restaurant and a man is willing to make a scene by screaming about a dime, it’s probably not worth the argument. Just give up the dime. But if that man is willing too not only make a scene, but also smash the glass casing, and then eat a Boston Cream with shards of glass like he’s David Blaine. FOR THE LOVE OF PETE GIVE UP THE DIME! I’m pretty sure at the point he picked up that baton looking thing, I would have been snow shoveling all the dimes I could at this bro. Some things in life I can handle taking the L, this is 1000% one of those situations.

The second thing I noticed, and really is the outrageous crime in this video. Is that the guy filming has outside food inside the Tim’s. Like what is this? Every time I’ve brought in something in and decided it would be nice with a coffee, I always get the “no outside food speech.” And then get forced to buy a crappy bagel that is never toasted. No matter how many times you ask, that thing is coming out warm and drenched in whatever they call butter. But this dude is peeling an avocado right on the table, and whippin up some Greek sandwich in plain sight really grinds my gears. Sure maybe at this point it isn’t on the minds of the staff. But you can’t make exceptions, either your allowed outside food in or your not. This rule not being enforced might finally make me a Starbucks guy after all.

The Cleveland Indians Twitter is Coming In Hot!

Just when you thought the Indians couldn’t dominate this series anymore, here they come in blazing with the social media. Hey I know that most of the time these team accounts are lame and obviously are strictly controlled for good company PR. But you know what? This is downright hilarious. Going straight after the most thin-skinned fan base in the entire league makes for great social media. Here we have a team whose tired of the smug comments and excuses from these players and their fans. So they just start hitting them straight up with FACTS. It’s not the umps strike zone, it’s Jose Bautista and the rest of the lineup failing to adjust. It’s not an anti-Canadian conspiracy because nobody in the MLB office stays awake at night thinking “what will we do with the Canadians”. And on top of this, making fun of a an athlete’s self-appointed nick-name is always great stuff. I wish more teams would do it so we never have to deal with another Dwayne Wade who keeps trying to make “flash” a thing. Maybe the BlueJays twitter guy should start taking receipts and comeback with a vengeance in game 4. Like you have to do that right? Can’t be the “classy” team now after the city has been huckin bottles and cans on the field like soccer hooligans for years now.

Disclaimer: I would be such an ass, If I didn’t mention how lame the Ken Bone option was in that Indians poll.

Toronto Library Out Here Snatching Twitter Souls

Ouuuuuuufffffff what a shot at the Cleveland library. This is what the playoffs are all about. Screw the lame bets by mayors who exchange gifts to each other. Like…I could give less of a damn if John Tory is walking around city hall for a day wearing a Rajai Davis jersey. Give me the public library beef. The combination of literacy and testosterone has me so fired up. I’m already taking out books to learn haiku’s and Clevelandic history so I can let these poetic jabs fly! That’s how fired up this tweet got me. Forget Norm and his legion of writers. I’m team TLP for life.

P.S. I’m aware of all the grammatical errors in this post, and probably will take out some books to fix this up.

Great White Shark Breaches Cage Becomes Nightmare Fuel

Well that was the most terrifying video ever. It was legit nightmare fuel for me as I sat through that. But this is the exact the reason why I stay in the middle of this continent. People here complain that it’s always cold or that the beaches around the great lakes are contaminated. But you know what? I’ll take the risk of dioxins and box turtles over sharks any day of the week. What’s even more crazy about this video is for years I always wondered what would happen if a shark broke into one of these cages. Shark Week has never answered that one for me. But now I know it’s basically a guy opens the little door at the top and prays that this thing flops out. Just stunning to see how it’s basically the same technique I’ve used for years when a racoon gets stuck in my green waste bin.