I Hate Spring…


I’m gonna say it. I hate spring. If LeBron acting like a Harlem Globetrotter while killing the Raptors wasn’t depressing enough, we now have literally 4 straight days of rain here. People tell me that Vancouver is such a great spot to live because you get this type of weather throughout the winter. They always just describe it as “mild.” Are you kidding me???? Who on earth would want this for 7 months. Spring is literally the worst. It’s always not cold enough for snow, and not warm enough to even be remotely comfortable. You can’t wear anything in this type of weather, because nothing in this history of fashion has ever been cool with rain gear. Don’t believe me? Tell me how many runways feature Wellington’s and Northface? Tell me how many people you’ve met here who say “Ouuu I like the Seahawks, or the Canucks jerseys.” There are none, and for good reason. The only people who seem to enjoy this type of season are depressed viso cam users and turtles. I don’t want to live like a turtle. There’s nothing cool about being a turtle in the first place. There slow, disease ridden, and are totally screwed if tipped over. There’s nothing positive about that. So when I see people on my weather channel telling me to get excited about the “spring.” I just know these are the biggest frauds going.

PS.- The fact that Vancouver has an actual tourism ad bragging about the rain is just mind boggling. Can anyone someday explain to me how the Pacific Northwest got so damn weird?