Man Opens Hottest New Toronto Hotel…in his Car

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City News- The price of a detached home is out of reach for most. Minuscule condos cost an arm and a leg, rentals are becoming increasingly unaffordable, and hotels seem to cater to high rollers. So where can a person on a budget lay their head in Toronto without digging themselves into insurmountable debt? How about the back of an SUV? That’s right for a measly $15 a night, or $311 a month, you can rent an SUV in downtown Toronto’s distillery district and sleep in the trunk. The Airbnb posting reads: Live in the “trunk” of my Mercedes SUV in the hot, usually expensive Historic Distillery District, also called “Corktown” of downtown Toronto a few steps from Lake Ontario, Sugar Beach, gorgeous park lands, trails, dining, shopping, entertainment and more. The poster adds that the vehicle is parked on a “safe, quiet street” and includes a thick foam double bed mattress that sleeps up to two people. There’s even curtains for privacy if you’re inclined to test the vehicle’s suspension. Of course you’ll have to walk to find a washroom, but a burst bladder is a small price to pay for such gargantuan savings. The “apartment” is stationary, but may be available to drive at an extra cost. But is it legal? According to the City, zoning bylaws that target living/sleeping in vehicles only apply to property that can be bought and sold, including driveways and parking lots, but not to public streets. Police also say it’s within the law, as long as the vehicle isn’t running, or parked in a prohibited location.

Look here’s the main thing. Toronto is expensive. This place is getting closer to Vancouver and Manhattan levels with every month. So for most people here, you gotta have some side businesses to keep those living expenses under control. Maybe this means an uber, some ebay, freelance writing, even just a good old fashioned part-time job. But this guy decided to take this up another level.

Now don’t get it wrong. I like ingenuity and ideas. I even consider myself to be a big idea guy. But there are some things that I just can’t get on board with, and this is one of those times. The first being that anyone who is willing to park their own MERCEDES downtown and allow someone to sleep, sweat, eat, and even by the sounds of this ad, even fuck in it. Is not somebody I want in my city. Anyone who is willing to take their European luxury car and say “hey for $15 bucks make the inside like a subway car!” I can’t have here. Nope I just can’t do it. Someone people will call this small minded, even tell me I’m stomping on the very essence and foundation of our capitalist society. But that’s the grief I’m willing to take.

P.S.- I love how City News didn’t blackout this dudes plate. I’m also laughing at the moment when this guy’s girlfriend see’s his car being sold like a hotel on the news. She has to dump this guy immediately right? Can’t be going out with the dude who uses his car like it’s a Motel 6.

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