Raptors Return Home…Hopefully Show a Pulse

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a tweet sum up my feelings 100% before. But there it is. That tweet is everything so far that I’ve experienced in only TWO games against the Cavs. After waiting an entire season, and getting so hyped about the trade deadline additions, the Raps…have been just getting dummied. There’s been no defense, they can’t shoot, turnovers galore, DeRozan is -50 so far, and Lowry’s ankle is now an issue. I didn’t expect to beat the greatest player in the world, but I expected some fight against him. That’s the best part about playing LeBron. It’s pushing him too the limit. But instead he’s out there drinking beers and having a laugh this time around. But Wednesday night seemed different. It felt like a franchise altering L. This was the year the Raps went all in, and instead are looking like they will be swept faster and easier than the terrible Indiana Pacers. The roster will be blown up with only DeRozan remaining unless they tie this thing up at home like last season. Do I expect that? No. This team is lacking one big thing that all teams need in the playoffs which is the edge. Now usually I hate when reporters use that term or narrative. But in this case it’s true. Last season Biyombo brought that edge. The guy wasn’t afraid of anyone on the Cavs. It made a difference, with the team, with the crowd, even with the Cavs. Hopefully I’m wrong and this isn’t the last time we see Lowry, Ibaka, and Casey at the ACC. But since there are literally ZERO highlights from the first two games, lets bask in playoff Raps Biyombo.

PS- Love how in any absurd or ridiculous situation that occurs on this planet now. The internet finds a Simpsons clip that fits perfectly with it. These young kids today will never appreciate or understand how funny and ahead of the time that show was.

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I Hate Spring…

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I’m gonna say it. I hate spring. If LeBron acting like a Harlem Globetrotter while killing the Raptors wasn’t depressing enough, we now have literally 4 straight days of rain here. People tell me that Vancouver is such a great spot to live because you get this type of weather throughout the winter. They always just describe it as “mild.” Are you kidding me???? Who on earth would want this for 7 months. Spring is literally the worst. It’s always not cold enough for snow, and not warm enough to even be remotely comfortable. You can’t wear anything in this type of weather, because nothing in this history of fashion has ever been cool with rain gear. Don’t believe me? Tell me how many runways feature Wellington’s and Northface? Tell me how many people you’ve met here who say “Ouuu I like the Seahawks, or the Canucks jerseys.” There are none, and for good reason. The only people who seem to enjoy this type of season are depressed viso cam users and turtles. I don’t want to live like a turtle. There’s nothing cool about being a turtle in the first place. There slow, disease ridden, and are totally screwed if tipped over. There’s nothing positive about that. So when I see people on my weather channel telling me to get excited about the “spring.” I just know these are the biggest frauds going.

PS.- The fact that Vancouver has an actual tourism ad bragging about the rain is just mind boggling. Can anyone someday explain to me how the Pacific Northwest got so damn weird?

I’m Done With Game 1’s

 

I don’t know what it is with this team and game 1’s. Every single series they always start down a game. I can’t understand why they are never ready to play. Missing open shots, turning the ball over a ton, not getting to the line enough. It’s just so frustrating. I pray Wednesday we see a different team. We have too. Otherwise this is a sweep like the Wizards in 2015.

Raps Finish Bucks, But the 905ers Win the D-League Title

That’s it folks. The Raps went into Milwaukee last night, put on a show, almost blew a 25 point lead, but they pulled it off. Am I going to address the problem that this team has with closing games? Absolutely not! I’m gonna forget it. Cause the Bucks are gone. It’s now all about Cleveland. It’s what we have been waiting for around here. I could care less about Jason Kidd blowing kisses at Ibaka. Just give me seven games vs King James. That’s all I’m asking here. I’m a simple man who is desperate for some hardware. So desperate that I’m about to gloat about the D-League title the 905ers won last night. But before that, lets drink in this tweet that aged well from Governor Scott Walker.

But on to the title talk. The 905 Raptors brought the hardware to Peel Region with an impressive 122-96 domination over the Rio Grande Valley Vipers. The Raptors youth of Fred Van Vleet, Bruno Caboclo, and Finals MVP Pascal Siakam, put on show for the Sauga crowd.

But what does this mean for the Raps? Well it means a couple of things. The first being that good drafting and development allows holes to be easily be filled from free agency this summer. The second thing, is that Jerry Stackhouse will soon be a head coach somewhere else. It’s been remarkable to watch him succeed into a role that many players frankly just stink at when they retire. The last thing it means is PARADE TIME PEOPLE!

Lets see the madness!

Even members of media are still in awe of this achievement.

But seriously though, this is really awesome. It’s actually great that this franchise has tons of stuff to celebrate after the years of downright horrible management. But also to the fans of Mississauga who really pack the Hershey Center so these guys aren’t hearing crickets when they play. Oh, and of course the GOAT showed up at today’s festivities.

 

Bills Trade Down, Take Tre’Davious White

Last night was a good night for BillsMafia. First the Bills traded their 10th pick to the Chiefs for the 27th pick, a 3rd rounder, and a 2018 1st rounder. In a draft full of defensive depth. It was a really good move to grab future surplus, while being able to fill a need for your team. But now on too the new man in Buffalo.

I figured if the Bills traded down, they would have taken Tim Williams or Reuben Foster. But instead the Bills took White, to step right in and replace Stephon Gilmore who left in free agency. White is known for being one of the premier cornerbacks in college football. He has the size and speed to cover anyone, and can play man exceptionally well. White is a pick that can immediately step in and be a starter on an already talented defense. He also brings some return magic to the Bills special teams, so hopefully we get our own Patrick Peterson at the Ralph.

There is question about his physicality when it pertains to stopping the run. But really, that will slowly develop as he fills out into his NFL body. Off the field White seems like really just a nice, average guy. There are no “red flags”, or any off-field issues, and seems to be the type of player that McDerrmott is trying to instill on the rest of the Bills.

Hopefully, on day two the Bills address some of the holes when it comes to the offense. But for the mean time lets sit back and inject some Tre’Davious LSU highlights into our skulls.

Fox News Host in Hot Water for Brutal Ivanka Joke

Well! Have yourself a week Fox News! I mean is there really anything else here to say? It’s unbelievable that after all the headlines that this place has made recently, here comes along this guy throwing this one down on prime-time. Obviously there was some anger directed at this display, so lets see what Watters said in an effort to clear this up.

What?! Really?! Really Guy?! I honestly can’t believe what I just read in that tweet. Is this the worst lie of all time? Has to be right? Like there’s no way that he took time to brew this one up. You think people like me are really that stupid? Like we don’t understand what you really meant? I’m still stunned at this lie. It’s a lie so bad that I just keep sitting and staring at it. I’m more stunned Donald didn’t see this. The President kinda keeps his finger on the pulse when it comes to cable news. I’m kinda pissed he didn’t see this to be honest. I think everyone on the planet would welcome a tweet storm directed at this “pin-head.”

Well we just know if he takes a sudden vacation, it’s probably done for this guy…oh look

 

Buffalo Bills Draft Day Wish List

Draft Day is finally here. I love the draft because to me it’s awesome for two reasons. The first is that to me the draft is the unofficial beginning of the summer. It lets you know that the optimism of the Bills is at its peak right now, and us mafia members will stare at the wall until training camp. The second reason is the fans who attended the draft. They just crack me up. Just because it’s the exact same experience as you would get at home. You literally miss or see nothing that would scream “you gotta be here.” Plus twitter has ruined the draft with announcing picks before they are brought out. But enough of my rambling! Here is the wish list I want in the various situations that could occur tonight.

The Bills Stay at 10

The brutal second half of the season that the Bills had, has left them with the tenth pick. Not the best of situations, but there seems to be plenty of offensive talent in this draft which I’m thankful for. So ideally at pick ten the Bills should take Mike Williams of Clemson.

Mike Williams is what exactly this offense needs. The Bills ground game is one of the best in the NFL, and that isn’t going to change this year either. But simply put, Tyrod Taylor needs more weapons around him if this team is going to have any success. Sure Sammy Watkins has proven he is the Bills number 1. But he has not been able to stay on the field. Without him, the Bills passing attack has been non-existent. Sure they don’t throw much in the first place…but you can’t have Andre Holmes as your prime receiver if Watkins suffers another setback. That is why this pick is needed. Williams has the speed and the size at 6’4 220. He’s the best redzone threat in this draft at the wide receiver position. Williams also has shown to be an effective run blocker, and more importantly can play the slot very well considering his size.

If Williams is taken

If Williams is taken before the Bills can draft. John Ross from Washington is a receiver who stands out. He lacks the size of Williams, but more than makes up for it in his speed. This dude ran a 4.2 at the combine!!! He would be great as a returner on special teams, and would be a natural inside at the slot position.

Although I am really committed to the Bills taking a receiver at this pick. I do believe that the TE positon is also a big possibility at 10. Charles Clay has not been the consistent hands that a conservative quarterback that Tyrod can check down too. He also lacks the size, and the speed that O’s want in today’s NFL. OJ Howard fits this role. He and Nick O’Leary would be ideal in the two TE sets that the Bills run the ball with. He can both run and pass block quite well, but has the hands, size, and speed that would allow him to be a match-up nightmare for defensive schemes. If there is anyone that Howard reminds me of, it’s Julius Thomas when he was with the Broncos.

If the Bills trade down

If the Bills end up trading down. It’s between two Alabama teammates who played on that stellar defense. Reuben Foster and Tim Williams. Both dudes have major red flags when it pertains to their off-field issues. Foster provides the speed and size that is needed for the Bills on the outside, and in their pass coverage at the linebacker position. Williams although undersized, has unbelievable speed off the edge, and just naturally gets too the quarterback. Williams to me is the favorite to win out with Sean McDermott moving back to a 4-3 scheme. Scouts have made the Julius Peppers comparison to Williams before, and getting pressure on the Quarterback is the most important part of any NFL defense.

But for BillsMafia, regardless how tonight unfolds. Just remember that the draft is about laughing at yearly video of horrible Jets picks.

ESPN Cutting 100 On-Air Personalities

Big news coming from the “mother-ship” south of the border.

The reasons for such a public and large layoff?

And this morning it was kinda surreal to watch all of these recognizable personalities live tweet their future with the company.

You can follow the rest of the layoffs that occur throughout the day at https://twitter.com/Ourand_SBJ

Well this is awful news for everyone at Bristol today. I don’t care if you like/hate any of the personalities on this list, anyone who has faced sitting at work and not knowing if you’ll be there tomorrow is a horrible feeling. But this is classic ESPN. They are so late when it comes to the “digital age.” The reason why the blogs and social media are eating away at your coverage is because they actually report on “sports.” Sure they don’t do it in the true “journalistic” way, and usually consist of homerism, and fandom. But they are at least making it fun, which is the point of sports in the first place! It’s also just the simple point of more does not always equal better. ESPN has lived off this for years. Hiring a beat reporter or journalist for every single team, when in reality local coverage will always trump national coverage. It’s not rocket science. People have more options, and more access to the sports coverage they want and when they want it. Don’t get me wrong here, people are still going to watch ESPN and its live sports coverage…just don’t expect them to stick around for the debate show with two people screaming at each other like on CNN.

It’s not surprising that the hockey department at ESPN is getting totally gutted. Barry Melrose showed up once a month for 2 minutes on Sportscenter, and Buccigross had to sneak it on the late edition. It’s a shame for American hockey fans, since LeBrun is an awesome reporter who shows off his personality and does great coverage. TSN will scoop him up so fast which for once, is actually one of the good reasons for the over exposure of NHL coverage here.

But it was also good to see online other people taking in today’s news with a clear mind and a full heart. First starting with walking human Cracker Barrell Tim Brando

Yah, that’s what I thought too. How is Disney gonna fire these people and still keep the view going. Here’s another great take by this CNN guy who looks like he hasn’t showered in a week.

Way to keep this story in perspective folks.

Chris Coghlan Goes Full Superman

What the hell was that?! That was the most dangerous, irresponsible, crazy, insane, play for home I’ve ever seen in baseball. But I’m sitting at my computer screaming MORE! MORE! MORE!

I know baseball purists were mad as hell when Manfred made blocking the plate illegal. Some described it as typical cupcake millennials being soft. But if were getting more of these superman jumps over them, I am so for this. Who cares about making innings shorter, or the pace of the game faster. If you pull a stunt like this off it should count as two runs. I’m even taking it further, I want like a one of those long jump measuring spots that they have in the Olympics. With the further you launch yourself over the catcher for a run the more the run counts. You get players doing that…and I think it’s game over for football come October time.